Bluesky Funnies 2025-03-08

judge: how does the jury find the defendant?me as the foreman: well he’s usually here when we get here, your majesty

— Dropped Mike (@rebrafsim.bsky.social) 2025-03-01T17:35:33.259Z

AOL warned us of the dangers of logging on. It would play for us the screams of the damned. But we didn’t listen. We didn’t listen.

— Surprised Face Guy (@surprisedface.bsky.social) 2025-02-27T10:14:06.882Z

ME: i wish it was easier to find something to watch on all of these streaming platforms GENIE: actually you know what i’ll let you wish for more wishes

— futuredad🙋🏻‍♂️ (@lacroixboi.dadguy.online) 2025-03-02T21:50:09.835Z

who is this rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting.

— RiotGrlErin (@riotgrlerin.bsky.social) 2025-03-03T14:38:29.168Z

I have never been swimming because it’s never been more than 30 minutes since I last ate

— Steve Suckington (@stevesuckington.bsky.social) 2025-03-04T03:51:04.398Z

She’s got styleShe’s got graceShe dropped her cellphone on her faceShe’s a lady

— Meghan (@deloisivete.bsky.social) 2025-03-06T01:48:39.152Z

me: (talking out loud while i write in my diary) today was ok, i just wish i could have eaten more breadstickswaiter: *sighs* sir would you like more breadsticks

— Ygrene (@ygrene.bsky.social) 2025-03-05T18:36:48.188Z

murderer: you can run but you can't hidewaldo: bitch, please

— inkedupandsonic (@sonictyrant.bsky.social) 2025-02-26T18:39:42.060Z

Medusa: *taking a selfie* goddammit!

— bacon popsicle 🚫 (@gupton68.bsky.social) 2025-03-06T14:13:35.992Z

We hope you enjoyed watching our rocket explode. May we interest you in an electric vehicle that may also explode?

— Rex Huppke (@rexhuppke.bsky.social) 2025-03-07T03:27:45.818Z

That was it. That was the sound of my last nerve snapping.

— Petti LaBelle (@petti-labelle.bsky.social) 2025-03-08T01:09:54.735Z