Bluesky Funnies 2025-01-25

Remember to sometimes participate in normal human activities or they'll get suspicious

— mindflakes (@mindflakes.bsky.social) 2025-01-18T11:11:00.826Z

[forgetting the word coconut] one hairy bowling ball please

— inkedupandsonic (@sonictyrant.bsky.social) 2025-01-17T15:49:13.711Z

when you yell at me on the internet, this is who your words are hurting

— Ygrene (@ygrene.bsky.social) 2025-01-17T15:55:56.793Z

Heaven forbid women have hobbies

— Rose Schmits (@roseschmits.bsky.social) 2025-01-18T10:01:05.219Z

I hope the film crew took their best boy out for ice cream.

— Julie Lavender (@2tickytacky.bsky.social) 2025-01-18T11:08:14.849Z

named my phone lois lane bc it doesn’t recognize me with glasses on either.

— RiotGrlErin (@riotgrlerin.bsky.social) 2025-01-18T23:30:57.396Z

I want: 1) To know what love is 2) You to show me 3) An order of nachos for the table

— donni saphire (@donni.bsky.social) 2025-01-18T19:56:48.026Z

i went in and asked them what i could get for fifty bucks and they told me that rosebud was a sled, bruce willis was dead the whole time, and that soylent green is people

— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) 2025-01-19T18:11:19.902Z

Exhausted and dehydrated, I slowly walk the last few steps. “This has to be it,” I think to myself. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and turn the handle, whispering a little prayer as I step through. I open my eyes and the last trickle of hope leaks away. I am still in IKEA.

— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) 2025-01-19T21:10:29.523Z

sure sex is good but have you tried never setting foot in a gym

— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch.bsky.social) 2025-01-23T23:49:43.198Z

I don't care if a woman is short, tall, curvy, thin, blonde, brunette; if she's a CEO or a waitress in a diner.I’m terrified of all of them.

— Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) (@wheeltod.bsky.social) 2025-01-22T12:36:04.300Z

Coworker: Are you watching anything good?Me: The end of civilizationCoworker: Is that on Netflix?Me: Netflix?

— James Alvarez (@obscuregent.bsky.social) 2025-01-19T17:14:41.343Z

Professor: you have a 10-page essay on odysseus due tomorrowMe [under breath]: motherfu-Professor: no you're thinking of oedipus

— the hyperspace (@thehyyyype.bsky.social) 2025-01-24T00:32:10.987Z