Bluesky Funnies 2025-02-15

“Morning, Sam.”“Morning, Alice.”“Nice catch today.”“Thanks.”“So, how’s my credit?”“Alice…”“C’mon, Tom gets paid on Tuesday.”“Alright, but this is the last time.”“You’re the best, Sam.”“I’m a sucker is what I am.”

— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) 2025-02-09T02:32:42.293Z

me: have you been outside todayher: no whyme: nice briesher: I swear to god if you put cheeses all over the fucking yard again—me: did I? camembert

— Dropped Mike (@rebrafsim.bsky.social) 2025-02-09T00:58:31.493Z

Well, well, well. If it isn’t the consequences of my lifelong political apathy. And I see you brought an asteroid, too.

— 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 (@unfitz.bsky.social) 2025-02-08T11:09:09.100Z

give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you can collect student loan payments for a lifetime

— Travis comma bitch (@prof-hinkley.bsky.social) 2025-02-09T21:33:24.072Z

jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline

— Steve Suckington (@stevesuckington.bsky.social) 2025-02-08T04:07:47.415Z

Kid: your mom can’t be on your team, she’s too fastMy kid: yes she can because she doesn’t run as fast as she used to Me: you better hope you run faster than you used to

— RealLifeMommy3 (@reallifemommy3.bsky.social) 2025-01-28T06:48:40.578Z

“Chappell Roan” sounds like a children’s book about an island where wild horses live free.

— 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 (@unfitz.bsky.social) 2024-09-28T09:21:54.232Z

Anyone planning April Fools Day pranks this year will really have their work cut out for them. 😊🤞🦋

— Jennifer Crawford (@ournewhomecoach.bsky.social) 2025-02-13T03:09:58.804Z

Just RSVPed for my college reunion. Everyone’s going to be blown away when I show up STUPID.

— John Moe (@johnmoe.bsky.social) 2025-02-14T23:35:12.530Z

Good news is you can toss it on ice

— Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 (@woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social) 2025-02-14T23:30:59.780Z

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Capt. Jones and I'll be your pilot today and, uh damn that's a lot of buttons. That's a lot of fucking buttons

— Travis comma bitch (@prof-hinkley.bsky.social) 2025-02-14T22:55:29.867Z